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When we look with our eyes

We see only sculptures, crafted for us

We do not see beneath the portraits

The souls that wage war

Beneath imitating paint

We do not witness the wars being waged

They make no sound

They leave no mark

No rivers of red

I have waged war with breaths

That felt like drowning

Opened eyes to mornings

With an effort like heaving stones

I learned how to smile

With a mouth full of coals

How to laugh with a chest

Engulfed with ash

My hardest battles

Weren’t fought with the world

They were fought in the dark

In silence

In secret

They were fought against pain,

against lack,

against loss.

They were fought against the silhouetted figure

Who knew the name of my heart

And only used it

To hurt me

To survive in the world

Receives applause and praise

To survive yourself

Is to trudge a road

Surrounded by silence

Fogged in mist

Further into the darkness

Every step a negotiation

A barter, a compromise,

A, one last time

Seeking reprieve in dream

Praying for a ceasefire

Knowing it would only last till morning

To once again find myself

Back on the road

Oblivion bides

At the edge of awareness

A small price to pay

When shrouded in shame

But I know what it cost to stay

I know the price

of choosing life

again and again

without applause

without witness

without hope

But when the mist lifts

And light illuminates your surrounds

You discover a home

Where gentleness lives,

where magic abides.

A home that sees not with eyes

A home that peers deeper

A home that sees with its heart,

With love

This home sees the way you listen,

the way you stay,

the way you make space

for others to breathe.

This home is yours

Your soul is the key,

the door will never be locked.

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